out of town for the weekend! doing some shopping tomorrow, 170$ to blow on me me me and maybe some christmas presents! OH LALA!

p.s. have i mentioned how sweet my boyfriend is, cause he is really sweet.

kay love youss.

have a great weekend!

 I'll admit I'm terrified of the future. I have no clue where I'll be next year.Where I live, who I'll be friends with, ect. That, scares the shit out of me. I'm used to change and moving around. New surroundings and people are not what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of getting to the new place with the new people, and absolutely hating it. Or, being with people who want to party every night, and mostly... not being focused on my dream. Now I now a lot of people go through this, but its my turn soon.. and sometimes I don't know if I can really do it.

Moving on, Divorce. Drives me insane. Hopefully, I will never have to put children through it. Even though I was only two when they divorced, I'm still effected by it so many years later. I don't believe in divorce whatsoever. And, ironically I don't believe in marriage much either - because of divorce and the way society is. There is too much pressure to have the "American Dream" with the perfect family and a perfect house with the white picket fence and the mini van.

Today I'm just fusterated and my mind is thinking so many thoughts its hard to register them all. I don't like today at all, I feel like theres noone to talk to anymore, noone I can trust. I miss having that trust, or at least thinking I did. I miss the old me. I've changed, and I'm not saying I don't like the change.. but I used to be so carefree.

I wish the world was perfect like we used to think it was when we were five. When we could walk to the store at seven o'clock, just when it turned dark, and not worry about someone following us home. Those were the good days.

I'm growing up... and not looking forward to it. Our whole lives we were raised to look forward to picking a career and having that perfect family. When I was in grade two I remember my sister telling me she was going to be a firefighter, and me saying I was going to be a ballet dancer. Both of those didn't come true. I also wanted to be a police officer, a vet, and a professional cheerleader... lets not forget about a teacher, a marine biologist, and a flight attendant.

Me and the guy are together :)

He is absolutly amazing. He is so calm about everything, and he's really made me loosen up about everything, and forget about all my problems.

His name, lets just call him "J". J, told me he loved me about a week ago. It may be soon, but I believe him.. and trust him with everything. I know I've let my troubles with guys from the past get in the way a few times, and J has never done anything wrong or anything, I'm just paranoid!

Anyways, gotta jet. Ciao!